![]() ![]() Getting busy on all fours may be your best bet if you have attempted and found anal painful in the past. As the partner on the bottom, you can stay loose as you control penetration to increase pleasure. This position is most often associated with anal because it has major advantages. Her hand becomes an extension of her butt while providing a physical buffer to ensure only shallow penetration.” Jess, Ph.D.), author, international speaker and PlayboyTV’s sexologist, offers an alternative to the cowgirl in her book The New Sex Bible, “If she doesn’t like the sensation of deep penetration, but he desires more stimulation against the base of his shaft, she can reach backwards with a warm, wet hand to grasp the lower half of his shaft. It helps to have had an orgasm already and be highly aroused.” Remember to go at an easy pace and stay relaxed. She explains, “This position will allow you to control the pace and depth that his penis goes inside of you. Pro tip: Make sure your bottom partner does not begin to thrust until you’re good and ready.Ĭertified Master Sex Expert and Educator, Sex Coach and “So Tight” Sensual Fitness Personal Trainer Nikki Ransom endorses the cowgirl position for anal newbies. In the traditional cowgirl position, your partner lies down while you mount on top - yeehaw! As the partner on top, you can ease into anal penetration by moving up or down as needed. Cowgirl (or cowboy) Image: SheKnows Design We checked in with some experts and asked them to take the mystery out of anal sex for beginners, and they schooled us on some positions that can help ease you into your first time to actually make it an enjoyable experience.Īrm yourself with these tips and a lot of lube, and you’re on your way to one kick-ass time. After all, some studies have found that mutual satisfaction was high across the gender orgasm gap in a sexual encounters that included anal, as FiveThirtyEight’s Mona Chalabi wrote in 2015: “100 percent of men and 94 percent of women say they orgasmed during encounters in which they received anal sex.” This could be because anal is something that requires a bit more foreplay and preparation to execute well or that the people who are having anal sex are maybe a bit more concerned with getting their partner off. “You can potentially create lasting damage to your body if you continue to force your body through something it is trying to warn you is not okay.But our greatest fears often lie in anticipation, and once you give anal a go, you might just find that you’ve been missing out on something that can actually be really hot and satisfying. “Numbing creams pain receptors, which are our body’s way of telling us something is not right,” she says. She also warns against using numbing creams. Finn says anal sex should never hurt or feel uncomfortable. Communication is key.Īnd if something hurts, stop. Let your partner know what feels good, what doesn’t, and what sensations you’d like to explore further. If you’re with a partner, Finn suggests asking them to stimulate the area with their tongue or give you a relaxing full-body massage before making any other moves. The external stimulation alone may feel great, so you can leave it at that, or continue to relax as you work your way up to penetration. You can start by stimulating the outside of your anus with your fingers or a vibrating toy. So if you’re feeling a bit anxious about anal play, those muscles may not be as willing to open to allow for penetration.” “We naturally tense up when something new is introduced to that area. “The rectum holds a lot of tension,” she tells SELF. Lisa Finn, a sex educator at the sex toy boutique Babeland, says relaxation is key to enjoying anal play. When you’re going to try the big A, experts recommend taking it slow and starting with a little finger or mouth play.
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